Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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