she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
