And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we're making bets on your personal life
it was like having sex with a tree stump
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We just shotgunned beers for America
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
