LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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