I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
