first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
