the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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