you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
