so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
