How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
