So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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