oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
