so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
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