; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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