He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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