dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
