just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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