You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
