Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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