maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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