Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
