A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
