so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
