wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
