I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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