i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
