You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Michael Bay diarrhea
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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