i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
