You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
