i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Do vagina's smell?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
