remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize