Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
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Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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