I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he wants to bone in the snuggie
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
