problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
