I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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