Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
