Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
