So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We're too hungover to prance.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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