Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
