just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
