it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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