when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
