...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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