bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
