Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
