Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
