Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
