***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
