I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
