I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
