I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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