Betty ford says i'm here all night
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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