Are we in a gay sports bar?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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