Pappa wants mamma naked
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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