wat bout pragnant strippers??
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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