yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Randomize
