I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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