Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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