She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize