they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
