So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
