I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
