Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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