I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
