Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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