R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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