everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
