If that was your dad, he is hot
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
