it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I think i got beer on your cat.
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