Porn is love you can see.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
