You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
