You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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