how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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