I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
