Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
