Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
