Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Damn victory sex feels great
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
